Book review of The Losses We Keep

by Jami Crist (Author)

Updated at: 04/02/2025

In "The Losses We Keep: Our Journey of Fertility, Loss, and Never-Ending Hope," Jami Crist and eight other women bravely share their intimate experiences with infertility and pregnancy loss. This deeply moving collection offers a raw and honest portrayal of the emotional and physical struggles faced by women navigating the complexities of conception. From IVF battles to the agonizing uncertainty of unexplained infertility, these personal stories offer solace and understanding. The book serves as a powerful testament to resilience, highlighting the shared journey of grief, hope, and the unwavering strength found in community. It's a beacon of hope for anyone facing the heartbreaking challenges of infertility, reminding them they are not alone.

5 / 137 ratings

Review The Losses We Keep

"The Losses We Keep" profoundly moved me. It's not just a book; it's a lifeline, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and a brutally honest exploration of a topic too often shrouded in silence: pregnancy loss and the agonizing journey of infertility. Jami Crist and the eight other women who bravely share their stories have created something truly special. Their vulnerability is breathtaking; they hold nothing back, laying bare the physical pain, the emotional devastation, the isolating loneliness, and the often-unsupportive medical encounters that accompany these experiences.

What struck me most was the raw honesty. These aren't sanitized, neatly-packaged narratives. The anger, the bitterness, the jealousy, the crippling grief—all are present and palpable. One particularly resonant moment was Kyle's account of navigating the holiday season after loss, her poignant description of forcing a smile while inwardly raging at the seemingly effortless pregnancies of others. That feeling of "stolen joy," that simmering resentment, was something I instantly recognized, a powerful reminder that this book speaks directly to the often-unseen struggles of those facing infertility. The book doesn't shy away from the darker aspects, but neither is it consumed by them. There's a remarkable thread of hope woven throughout, a persistent belief in the possibility of joy even amidst profound sorrow. The inclusion of moments of levity, such as Kyle's bachelorette trip anecdote, highlights the importance of self-care and finding moments of lightness even during the darkest times.

While the book focuses on the shared experience of loss and the journey towards motherhood, it’s important to acknowledge a point of potential confusion raised by one reviewer. Several women in the book ultimately achieve pregnancy and birth. This shouldn’t diminish the significance of their prior struggles, nor does it invalidate the experiences of women who continue to face infertility. Their journeys, in all their complexities, offer a nuanced perspective on the spectrum of infertility and its impact. The book doesn't pretend to offer a single, easy solution, but rather provides a wide range of experiences. It's crucial to remember that infertility is a complex issue with varied causes and outcomes. The strength of "The Losses We Keep" lies in its honesty; it presents the full spectrum of emotions and experiences within the fertility journey.

Reading this book felt like sitting in a circle with these women, sharing tears and laughter, feeling a profound sense of connection. It's a book that will stay with you long after you finish the last page. For those who have endured similar losses, it provides a powerful sense of validation and community. For those who haven't, it offers invaluable insight into the complexities of infertility and pregnancy loss, fostering empathy and understanding. Ultimately, "The Losses We Keep" is a courageous act of sharing that offers hope, solace, and a powerful message of resilience. It is a must-read for anyone seeking to understand the profound depths of this often-silenced experience.